Why confessed doper White deserves a chance to move on

Five months have passed since Matt White confessed to doping as a rider on the US Postal Service team then led by Lance Armstrong. While he has been sacked as Cycling Australia national men’s road coach and Orica-GreenEDGE’s head sports director, his future remains in limbo – until there is a ruling on his case by the Australian Sports Anti-Doping Authority, with whom he is understood to have co-operated fully.
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Yet despite White having raised his hand when his name appeared in the US Anti-Doping Agency’s ”reasoned decision” in the Armstrong case, confessed his guilt and, as understood, having been candid with ASADA, the national agency says it still can’t give any indication of when it will judge his case.

All a spokesperson for ASADA could say on Wednesday was: ”ASADA’s cycling investigation is progressing. ASADA is unable to discuss the ongoing investigation or operational matters associated with the investigation until such time as its legislation permits.”

It is still worrying that despite the ASADA probe into cycling continuing, it has taken so long for one case to be decided; especially considering the potential number of cases that could emerge from the Australian Crime Commission’s investigation into doping and corruption in Australian sport.

Is Australian sport set for a line of similar delays? Or is the political weight of ACC and ASADA joint operation so great that the White/cycling dossier has been put on the backburner?

Whatever the answer, the delay by ASADA has left White’s life circling in a frustrating holding pattern. Furthermore, his ability to make amends for his doping hinges on ASADA – if he faces a ban, for how long?

White, it is understood, has not heard any developments on his case since he met ASADA investigators. But he is committed to working for clean cycling – to be part of the solution, rather than the problem. One step he has taken is to join the Union Cycliste Internationale stakeholders’ anti-doping work group that meets next week. But his future involvement in it, or cycling at all, rests on ASADA’s verdict.

Even if White learns that he faces a one-year or six-month ban, he could spend it planning his re-entry to the sport and involvement in future proposals to help cycling go forward.

White hopes for a future in cycling and to show his commitment for clean sport is as strong as before. When he confessed to his doping on October 13, he said in a statement: ”I stopped my racing career because I had the opportunity to be part of something that had the potential to actually change cycling.”

In 2008, the year after his retirement, he took the position of head sports director on the American Garmin team, advocating clean cycling – and a second chance, as other former drug users were on it.

The team introduced ”blood profiling” that was later developed into the athlete biological passport and a no-needles policy. Both were embraced by the UCI and WADA.

White erred in 2009 by referring Garmin rider Trent Lowe for a health check to a doctor later charged by USADA with Armstrong – Luis Garcia del Moral. White lost his job, however, not for a breach of doping protocol, but an internal team policy disallowing the use of doctors not approved by the team. The referral, White and Garmin said, was because Lowe lived in Valencia, where Dr del Moral practised.

When White left Garmin in 2011, he took with him his commitment to clean cycling – as well as a number of Australian riders from Garmin – to the Australian Orica-GreenEDGE team that began last year. Will it end at Orica-GreenEDGE and his sacking? It shouldn’t. White still has much to offer cycling – not just as a wise head who can run a bike team, but as one who has admitted to his past as a drug user and has openly said he wants to help riders – if not the whole sport – make sure they don’t follow the same path.

Twitter – @rupertguinness

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Tapuai fancied a Rebels move

Queensland Reds inside-centre Ben Tapuai last year seriously contemplated a future as a Melbourne Rebel.
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The Rebels chased him hard and he was tempted to return to the city where he grew up, but in the end he decided to remain at the Reds and take advantage of the start he had been given by coach Ewen McKenzie, when he snared a regular position in 2011 and was part of the championship-winning team.

Tapuai had moved to the Gold Coast after taking up a scholarship to The Southport School.

So the 24-year-old remains part of the cluster of Australian players who grew up in Victoria but are part of rival teams, with the talented back among the Reds team that will play against the Rebels at AAMI Park on Friday night.

Tapuai is contracted to the Reds until the end of next year, and while he has not thought about his future beyond that date, he said the possibility of one day playing for the Rebels held some appeal.

”I just pretty much started, so if I moved again [last year] it just would have felt like I had started again,” said Tapuai, who played rugby at Box Hill.

”I was contemplating going, but at the end of the day I stuck at it and stuck with the Reds … but in saying that it would be awesome to go back to Melbourne and to finish off there, but I haven’t even thought of that.”

Tapuai’s star has risen to the extent that he has now played seven Tests for the Wallabies and is regarded as an integral part of the Reds back line, despite the bigger name players around him, such as Quade Cooper, the injured Will Genia and Digby Ioane. He said a change in attitude before the 2011 season sparked the upward momentum of his career.

”I think it’s commitment and diet. I was pretty bad in the diet situation. I just kind of ate anything and everything and then that pre-season – end of 2010, start of 2011 – that’s when I started to try and take things serious and things worked for me and it paid off.”

But Tapuai’s immediate thoughts are on Friday night’s clash with a Rebels team that he believed would provide more challenges than at any time during the Reds’ previous games this season.

”If they were playing in Melbourne last week against the Tahs, I reckon they would have got away with it … they were up 16-6 at half-time and they let it go in the last 20,” he said.

”But if you look at them from two years ago when they were beaten by the Waratahs by at least 30 points … they’ve improved immensely.”

Tapuai said the Rebels would lose little with James O’Connor replacing Kurtley Beale at five-eighth, with Beale sidelined with a broken hand.

Reds five-eighth Quade Cooper agreed with that assessment, noting that O’Connor had bulked up during his lay-off with injury. ”He’s grown up a lot and he’s a lot bigger. He’s not like a little 18-year-old any more.”

With aap

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Back troubles frustrate Furner as Raiders face fitness race for season start

Feet up: Josh Dugan takes it easy at training. Photo: Colleen Petch Canberra coach David Furner will decide on Thursday whether to gamble on back-line stars Josh Dugan and Jarrod Croker in Sunday’s season opener, with key back-up Reece Robinson also in doubt for the Penrith match.
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Dugan and Croker were both put through fitness tests on Wednesday afternoon. Furner rated both players better than a 50-50 chance of playing against the Panthers.

Their late inclusion would be a massive bonus for the Raiders, especially after Robinson sat out training on Wednesday because of back spasms.

Robinson had been named at fullback in place of Dugan, and was also in line to take over the goal-kicking duties from Croker.

But the Indigenous All Stars representative winger had acupuncture treatment after straining his back in a weights session.

The Raiders took a conservative approach with Dugan and Croker, but both have surprised coaching staff with speedy recoveries.

Croker was put through a tough tackling session at the end of Wednesday’s training to test his injured right knee. But the NRL’s leading points scorer last year did not take part in a session with goal-kicking guru Daryl Halligan.

Having been hospitalised for three days with a lip infection, Dugan ran strongly on Wednesday. If Dugan, Croker and Robinson are unavailable, Blake Ferguson is next in line to kick goals.

Furner said he would make a call on positions on Thursday, giving combinations time to gel before Sunday’s kick-off.

”There’s no excuses,” Furner said. ”I wouldn’t even call it a disruption. I’ve got players there that have been training in the top squad all pre-season. If I have to make changes, I make changes. [Dugan and Croker] have upped the ante from 50-50, both of them. But these games I need them fully fit. I need to see how they pull up.”

Former Kangaroos prop Brett White is almost certain to drop off the Raiders bench and could play NSW Cup with the Mounties. The Raiders want to increase his game time as White continues his comeback from knee reconstruction.

Hooker Glen Buttriss is expected to be given another week off to recover from an ankle injury, while Terry Campese isn’t likely to be fit until at least round three.

Meanwhile, Shaun Johnson’s right elbow might not be 100 per cent, but the star halfback is confident it will stand up to the rigours of the Warriors’ season-opening match against Parramatta on Saturday night.

Johnson, 22, has made an earlier than expected return after hyperextending the joint in a trial in Dunedin on February 23.

”From Monday’s field session to today’s field session, I’m feeling a lot more confident about it,” he said.

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Oz The Great And Powerful

James Franco and Mila Kunis in Oz the Great and Powerful.FILM(PG)General release (130 minutes)
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There’s no place like home, Judy Garland learnt when she clicked the heels of her ruby slippers together and headed back to Kansas. But there’s more than one story attached to the Land of Oz. Frank L. Baum wrote more than a dozen of them, and Gregory Maguire’s novel Wicked was the basis for a hit Broadway musical of the same name that explored what happened before Dorothy set foot on the Yellow Brick Road.

Sami Raimi’s Oz The Great And Powerful is an origins story that goes even further back – a tale of how the Wizard came to hold sway in the Emerald City. Part of this background is already explained in the 1939 movie, but it’s filled out a little by screenwriters David Lindsay-Abaire and Mitchell Kapner. James Franco plays Oscar Diggs, a shameless showman and travelling magician with an ingratiating smile, a trifler with the affections of various young women. Fleeing an awkward situation, he is transported to Oz, hailed as a mighty wizard and long-awaited saviour, and expected to pit himself against some powerful magic (embodied by witches Rachel Weisz and Mila Kunis).

There were legal constraints that didn’t allow the filmmakers to reference the original too closely. But that’s not really the problem: what’s disappointing about the movie is its failure to add anything significant to the Oz mythology – unlike Wicked, which developed relationships, themes and implications from the original, and created a strong story of its own. Oz the Great and Powerful really doesn’t have much to say for itself. There are visual echoes of the original, particularly in the lush colour of the production design, but the movie soon runs out of ideas and emotional impact, and becomes a large-scale special effects scramble.

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Bailout fund does the big banks plenty of favours

Anybody keen for a loan of $380 billion at, let’s say, an interest rate of 3.4 per cent? Sounds nice, eh? Well, you the taxpayer are in the process of making such a loan. Or at least you will soon extend, most kindly if as yet unwittingly, such a credit facility to the big banks, to be used at any time, at their discretion.
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Taxpayers already guarantee 60 per cent of bank funding via the deposits guarantee for zero compensation. Yes, it is exceptionally generous, the so-called Committed Liquidity Facility, which is in effect a permanent bailout facility that comes into play in 2015. Christopher Joye, the managing director of property research group Rismark, makes the point that this massive line of credit is unusual and generous by global banking standards and it has been established with ”no public debate”.

”Smaller building societies and credit unions are not subject to the liquidity tests and will not, therefore, have access to the bailout fund,” Joye writes in the Financial Review.

To put this in perspective, bank loans to small businesses now average 8.45 per cent. Secured by the business person’s residential property, they are priced at 7.6 per cent. The average mortgage holder is forking out 5.65 per cent fully discounted.

Yet the biggest businesses in Australia – Commonwealth Bank, Westpac, NAB and ANZ – will be able to trot down to the Reserve Bank, lodge a bunch of their own loans – car loans if they like – and march off with billions at the bargain-basement interest rate of 3.4 per cent for 12 months or more.

The wholesale funding guarantee – with its prejudicial pricing in favour of the big four – is still in play until 2015 and, now, we have the mother of all bailout funds.

If any other business in the country can’t meet its obligations it has to render itself insolvent. But the banks can just shimmy on down to the RBA, chuck a bit of collateral over the counter and romp off with a few lazy billion at the cash rate plus 25 basis points and another 15 basis points.

That is indeed nice work if you can get it. Nobody would disagree that Australia should have a strong banking system. Most agree, grudgingly, that the country has been well-served by its banks.

But where is the debate on this issue? Where is the debate about ”moral hazard”? Why should the banks pay any heed to the disciplines of risk whatsoever if they have no chance of going bust but are nonetheless hardly paying for the privilege of community support?

Does this country have the most generous support mechanisms for banks in the world? The answer would appear to be yes.

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Big dreams, but little tribes rule the roost

It’s the last Friday of a soggy pre-season, and again the northern beaches are flooded. Instead of jumping castles and kicking games at Brookie, the Sea Eagles’ launch has been moved to the leagues club. Undaunted, hundreds of supporters press in to have their photos taken and jerseys signed. Here are the Stewart brothers, Jamie Lyon, some unfamiliar young guys, Igor the Eagle, as the players come in from afternoon visits to hospitals and schools.
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There are the trademarks of the ad hoc event: a dodgy microphone, a late-running schedule and, Manly being Manly, some officials giving others a wide berth. But no amount of rain or mayhem can douse the defiant excitement you get in a community club at its season launch. It might be damp, but here and in 15 other clubs, this is the smell of hope.

Though its central administration is corporate, rugby league is a fundamentally local game. In cricket, Michael Clarke and Shane Watson appear for their clubs once. The endless cricket summer has no linear narrative. With league, the heroes of the sport are locally embedded, and the season has a clear ending, which 15 clubs prefer to forget, and a beginning, which is now.

Manly chief executive David Perry sums it up: “When you finish the season in October it feels like a long period for fans and players to wait. Everyone’s a bit restless now.”

The coach, Geoff Toovey, describes his mood as one of “nervous excitement”. “The players are chomping at the bit. They’re well and truly over running around the oval. Bring on Brisbane.”

Halfback Daly Cherry-Evans, who became a father last month, is ready. “To be honest, my partner’s doing most of the work getting up through the night. I’m looking forward to getting out there and doing my bit to support her.”

This is the tingling of early autumn. Manly, twice premiers in the past four seasons, have a dozen new players to inject hunger. In Brad Arthur and Andrew Johns, it has two high-profile new assistant coaches. Every start is a fresh one, for every player and every club. But in the bigger picture, 2013 is truly fresh, with a new broadcast deal and new chief executive, and the first fully prepared season of the Australian Rugby League Commission.

The commission was designed to shift power to the clubs. This is significant, because so many of the clubs face uncertainty that can only be alleviated by unity. “The clubs are the key stakeholders, and we’re hoping the new money and resources will be used wisely,” Perry says.

Toovey says: “We’re hoping to see positive changes. It’s such a great game, we believe it can be even greater. We’re excited at the possibilities of the commission doing it for us.” And yes, there is a new referees’ administration. Rugby league has always been the game that will change itself for the sake of the spectacle, and of the fans.

League is a fans’ game, which creates a tension between the aims of the centre and the needs of the local.

Adam Muyt, a Manly supporter, says the league is “chugging along beautifully as a game to watch. Its simplicity is its advantage. In the last few years the standard has got better and better.” But as a Manly fan, there is the constant spectre of nationalisation and rationalisation. Broadcasters have not paid millions to please northern beaches locals; the aims of the game’s chiefs are distinctly anti-local.

Keeping the big picture and the small linked is the challenge facing not only Manly, Muyt says, but all clubs. “The demographic shifts concern me,” he says. “Manly is not the same place as in the 1960s and ’70s. No place is, but that’s Manly’s biggest problem long term. Add in the push to rationalise the grounds. Brookie feels like it’s still 1978. The problem with rationalising is that Sydney is much more geographically decentralised than Melbourne, with the clubs a long way out and people strongly identified with them.”

Muyt says he would not follow league if Manly were rationalised – as they were, into the ill-fated Northern Eagles, 13 years ago. But the perennial tide keeps moving against Sydney community clubs. “The heart and soul of rugby league has shifted 1500 kilometres north,” Muyt says. “The strength of the game is its Queensland base. It might not sit well with Sydney, but Queensland could support two more teams at least. Papua New Guinea and New Zealand could probably have more teams. Does going national and international mean going back to the push to rationalise the Sydney teams?”

Up in Queensland, Matt O’Hanlon has been involved as a player, coach, even ground announcer, for decades. When Manly travel north this week, he will be with a thousand others at the Beenleigh Annual Prawn Luncheon, the appetiser for a trip to Lang Park. O’Hanlon is a “bigoted rugby league follower – there’s no other game”, though he does not follow any club. “I was a Newtown supporter, then Wests, then the South Queensland Crushers. Clubs are happy for me not to support them,” he says. He is a season ticket-holder at Lang Park, and goes to Gold Coast matches. A high school teacher, O’Hanlon agrees on the game’s northern strength. “Junior numbers are up in south-east Queensland. The kids at school are a barometer, and every Monday they’re talking about league.”

Anti-Sydney feeling has made the game national. O’Hanlon says: “Hardly a Queenslander wouldn’t say Melbourne is their second team.” The Storm, with its Queensland Origin stars and Super League foundations, is the league’s southern shopfront. Yet the local-national tension also complicates the Storm’s position. Paul Dalligan, a South Sydney supporter who moved to Melbourne seven years ago, says: “Melbourne people are never going to get better rugby league than this Storm team produces. That’s what worries me.” The game is still battling in the AFL stronghold, where, Dalligan says, “they wouldn’t know Gorden Tallis from Gordon Ramsay”.

AFL’s crowds dwarf rugby league’s. Dalligan says he is often asked ” ‘If your sport’s so good, why are your crowds so low?’ My response is, first, NRL’s a much better television sport than AFL, which is shown in the NRL’s television rights being worth $50 a minute more. And second, Sydney is not as centralised as Melbourne. People want to watch their team locally, whereas in Melbourne they’re happy to come to the MCG.”

Dalligan, like O’Hanlon and Muyt, belong to a community of league tragics who contributed to the inaugural Rugby League Almanac, a publishing idea imported from the AFL this year, in which fans write reports on every match. Dalligan supports South Sydney, and on Thursday will travel north to see his team play the Roosters. “I’m more confident than I have been, which is dangerous,” he says. But a Rabbitoh fan bears too many scars to be complacent. Dalligan says league wrecked his first marriage. “Souths were leading against the Broncos, and Gorden Tallis scored in the last minute. I was in the foetal position in the shower. My then wife walked in and saw me, and the look on her face said, ‘No . . .’ “

Hoping to prolong Dalligan’s agony will be Roosters diehard Brett Oaten, also an Almanac writer. “Ever since I was a kid I’ve hated Souths, as is required. The Roosters and Souths have never had good years at the same time. That makes this year particularly interesting,” he says.

Being a glamour team sits more easily with the Roosters, but Oaten has had his share of heartbreak. “I think I’ve loved them more than they’ve loved me back . . . I’ve had the same season tickets for 15 years. I like going to the footie even when we lose. I get angry, but keep coming back.” For this week, he says: “I’m nervous. All my mates are nervous. And we’re not even playing.”

That nervousness is all about to come to a head, from all corners of the rugby league nation. Matt Tedeschi, who lives in Orange and supports the Canberra Raiders, will travel to Penrith for their first game. “I’ve been counting down the weeks and days. It’s been a boring summer waiting,” he says.

It’s been even longer for Peta Bryant, who epitomises the transcendence of league fandom. Last year, Bryant lived in Cambodia and was only able to follow league online. “I was coming last in the family tipping comp,” she says. “I’m just looking forward to seeing any game live, it doesn’t matter who.”

Bryant is club-agnostic; she just loves her league. “Some families go to church on Sundays. For us it was going to the grandparents’ for lunch, then settling down to watch the Sunday afternoon league game.” Who she follows “depends on which family member I’m watching with. There are Bulldogs, Knights and Dragons fans among us. They get into me for my lack of loyalty, but it’s the game I love, not a team. I know that’s unusual.” It is her own way of conquering the local-national tension: support the game itself. Back in league civilisation, she will spend the 2013 winter in Canberra. “I’ll be going to watch Raiders games, for sure. That’ll give me a fourth team.”

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Steve Mascord: News reinforces need for change

Nervous wait: The Cronulla club is under investigation for alleged drug use. Photo: Chrisopher LaneDEVELOPMENTS in recent hours involving the ASADA investigation at Cronulla give us an insight into just how much infrastructure we really need to put around the NRL so that it operates with integrity and transparency in this punting-crazy world.
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In case you missed it (but still found this column – unlikely, I know), betting has been frozen on the Cronulla-Gold Coast match this Sunday because the Australian Crime Commission and ASADA have been interviewing officials and players at the Sharks.

There is speculation a number of players will be stood down and that authorities are trying to ‘cut a deal’ with the club which would involve a suspension of six months for those involved in doping in 2011.

Media was shut out of training as the story broke.

Discord has been bleating for years about the NRL setting up an internal integrity unit. One of the arguments against this was that the external expert they used, Ray Murrihy, was better-connected and more experienced than anyone they could hire.

So you would imagine that should Ray Murrihy put his hand up for the job, he’d have it. Well, apparently not ….

In any case, the key to protecting the integrity of the competition in the face of multiple threats associated with betting is not just about forming a unit to deal with dirty laundry.

It’s about airing ALL the laundry.

The biggest problem is inside information. If you use inside information to make a buck in business, you could get thrown in jail. In betting, everyone pats you on the back. How does that work?

In the NFL, clubs have to list who trained and who didn’t and why. Non-disclosure carries draconian penalties. And in most US states, it’s illegal to bet on the NFL anyway.

Locking the gates at training may be the first instinct of rugby league clubs when there’s drama. But the more you interact with gambling, the more transparent you need to be or else you will be dragged down by it.

Secrets are worth money and can be exploited. The day should not be far away when Cronulla – as part of the price it pays in return for a slice of the betting cake – has to announce at the earliest possible juncture “training now closed and function cancelled due to ASADA interviews with six players”

If you’re going to take money from punters, then compel clubs to say whether a star player like Sonny Bill Williams is actually playing. How many rules and protocols do they have in horse racing? We need to replicate every one of them in rugby league – stewards, scratchings, the lot.

If rugby league wants to keep its nose clean while it pockets millions from bookmakers, it needs much, much fewer secrets.

You can’t be half pregnant and you can’t half-engage bookmakers.

Hard done by

I feel sorry for Phil Veivers, the Salford coach who was sacked yesterday.

His team’s comeback against Hull KR two Sundays ago was one of the most stunning I have ever seen, and yet a week later he was gone after a heavy home loss to London.

Salford owner Marwan Koukash seems like an entertaining fellow and the fact that he is chasing the best players in the world – and now the best coach – is good for the game.

But his call for the salary cap to be raised is ill-conceived at best. Many clubs in Super League cannot afford to spend up to the cap and there are even calls for it to go down.

If Super League wants a cash injection and to operate at a higher level financially, then – as I’ve said before – they should talk to some of the franchises who have tried and failed to get into the NRL.

I know for a fact the West Coast Pirates have discussed entering Super League at a board meeting. What a great fillip it would be for Super League if they announced the Central Coast Bears or Brisbane Bombers had been granted franchises in 2015!

Going underground

Thanks to everyone for their comments last week. From now on until the World Cup, you will only be able to read Discord here online, which is part of the agreement between Fairfax and my primary employers, Rugby League Week.

Marto (I think I know you), as far as my ponytail is concerned it is long-gone. However, it’s getting a bit woolly again and I’ll get another haircut as soon as I can afford one!

Gav commented on the UK television rights. Since the last column, Premier Sports signed a new five-year deal. There’ll be six live games and two delayed every week. Here’s the statement from Premier: http://www.premiersports.tv/top/rugby/nrl/nrl-news/

Here’s the forum: http://whitelinefever.ning整形美容医院m/forum/categories/discord/listForCategory

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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OPINION: Slingshot launch pad for bright new ideas

LIGHT UP: The government is committed to supporting entrepreneurs.LIGHT UP: The government is committed to supporting entrepreneurs.
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AS our economy undergoes structural change, the future success of many Australian industries will rely heavily upon their ability to innovate and adapt.

Those who develop new ideas, integrate new technologies and employ modern, competitive ways of doing business will be out in front.

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of launching the first Hunter-based technology accelerator, Slingshot – a fine example of the power of innovation at work.

This unique program will invest $10million of seed funding into Australian companies to help them turn innovative ideas into commercial realities.

Ten emerging businesses will be selected to take part in the intense 12-week program where they will co-locate in Slingshot’s Newcastle offices, be given access to leading business mentors and be exposed to investors, partners and sponsors.

The end result could be remarkable new companies ready to pitch themselves to venture capitalists for further funding here and abroad; helping create new jobs.

The journey from good idea to new product or service can present many challenges.

The Gillard government is focused on fostering competitive and innovative industries, including through promoting venture capital.

The Slingshot program, for example, utilises the government’s Early Stage Venture Capital Limited Partnership tax arrangements to raise the dedicated seed funding required to support successful enterprises.

Opportunities exist, for assistance, through other government initiatives such as the Innovation Investment Fund, Commercialisation Australia, the R&D Tax Incentive, Enterprise Connect and Industry Innovation Precincts.

This approach also plays into the Gillard government’s central objective of creating and supporting local jobs.

Our recently-released Industry and Innovation Statement, A Plan for Australian Jobs, is a $1billion investment in productivity, prosperity and jobs.

It will ensure Australian firms have the opportunity to bid for more work, create industry precincts that strengthen our ability to win business abroad, and help small and medium businesses grow.

As part of this plan, the government will invest a further $350million in the Innovation Investment Fund, matched by private industry, to create an additional $700million in venture capital for smart Australian businesses.

There are improvements to venture capital taxation arrangements, and support for emerging technology is also evident through the government’s investment in high speed broadband – the backbone of the new digital economy.

The National Broadband Network (NBN), which is already rolling out in our region, will improve the competitive advantage of regional centres such as Newcastle and support entry into global markets and supply chains.

We are committed to supporting small business and entrepreneurs to reach their potential. The government’s Digital Enterprise Program, for example, is providing free group training and face-to-face support for SMEs and not-for-profit organisations to help improve service delivery online.

There is a positive alignment between what Slingshot, created by locals Craig Lambert and Trent Bagnall, aims to achieve and the Gillard government’s vision to drive innovation, create jobs and improve our competitiveness for the future.

Slingshot’s partners include the Newcastle Herald, Sparke Helmore, PricewaterhouseCoopers, Hunter Business Chamber, University of Newcastle, and TAFE.

By bringing together our best businesses and researchers to create global quality products, boosting capability for business and entrepreneurs, and providing access to capital to grow early stage businesses, the government is creating the base from which creative entrepreneurs, through initiatives like Slingshot, can thrive.

The key drivers of economic change are the rise of the digital economy and the shift towards a low-carbon global economy.

Our investments in the NBN and the Clean Energy Future package will help Australian industry, including those based here in the Hunter, to embrace and profit from these changes.

Greg Combet is the federal Labor member for Charlton and the Minister for Industry and Innovation.

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To market, to market: Kitchen crew hit the road to pressure cooker

Tasmania’s Sam is feeling the farming vibe with his checked shirt. Going bananas… just another day in the My Kitchen Rules competition.
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Tonight on MKR it’s Market Madness, as Australia’s most popular reality program turns to social commentary with an unflinching look at the failures of late capitalism.

We begin with the theme song blaring “This is the best night of my life”, a lyric that is by now devastatingly ironic, and then some dramatic action film music as the teams walk purposefully towards Kitchen Headquarters.

“My heart’s thumpin’,” says knockabout bloke Mick in a knockabout way. Is he nervous? No, just really unhealthy.

“Hey guys, the kitchen’s closed,” calls Luke with the sort of naturalistically convincing depiction of surprise rarely seen outside Meryl Streep acceptance speeches. All the contestants are shocked at this unexpected twist – they never saw it coming.

The sign says more information is in the cars. “Go to your cars? I can’t drive!” exclaims Ashlee. Oh no! I guess she’ll just have to stay there then, sitting outside Kitchen Headquarters playing with passing ants, as she was woefully unprepared for this dynamic and utterly unpredictable turn of events.

In the cars they find a letter telling them that Pete and Manu have decided they need time to find themselves, and wishing them all the happiness in the world.

No, actually it’s a letter telling them to drive to Sydney Markets, where they will open stalls and sell their food to the public. The team that makes the most money wins.

This is a great challenge, as there is no more discerning audience for fine cuisine than the patrons of Sydney Markets. It also tests the number one criterion for any aspiring chef: the ability to yell loudly enough at as many people as possible until they give you their money.

The first snag is struck when it is discovered that nobody can reverse a car without putting themselves in mortal danger. Horns honk, Melina screams, the police are called, and we’re off to the markets.

“The first team there gets to start shopping and start cooking before anyone else,” says Luke, his years of study on the linear nature of time having paid off in spades here.

Sophia demands that Craig not let anyone in, playing the Ethel Merman to his Milton Berle in this culinary-themed reboot of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World. “Craig’s as competitive as we are, so it’s a good match,” Sophie informs us, although to be honest it seems more like the prelude to a violent in-car murder.

“Such a smooth car,” says Ali, aware of how much Honda has paid for its products to appear in this episode. “Such a good driver!” retorts Sam waggishly, ruining the moment.

Samuel interjects in a cutaway to explain how Sydney is very big, compared to other places that are smaller. Here the markets are far away but in Tassie it takes five minutes to get to the markets. Nobody points out to him that it takes five minutes to get to the markets in Sydney too if you live five minutes away from the markets, because nobody who works on MKR has any interest in exposing the deeper truths of the universe. “From anywhere,” adds Ali, the filthy liar.

In Josh and Andi’s car, tension is rising, and by “car” I mean “relationship”. “Where do I go?” demands Andi. “Just settle down,” says Josh, refusing to answer the question. Andi puts her hands to her head, thereby rendering herself unable to either steer or see.

Everyone else is just stunned by the size of the markets, especially Ali and Samuel, since in Tassie every building is only a metre high.

Pete and Manu are looked for in the throng, and after a quick edit cutting out the four days of searching, they are located. “This is where you’re shopping, this is where you’re cooking!” Manu bellows. Or maybe he said, “Tease it, wear your chopping, tizzle we’re yo cocking.” Or “Underwear’s a-hopping, just beware your booking”. I honestly have no idea any more. Manu explains the teams have 90 minutes to shop (“shoop”?), cook and start selling, a look of abject terror on his face. This cutaway was filmed after the challenge, and you can tell that Manu has seen things this day that he knows he can never un-see.

Pete tells Dan, Steph, Luke and Scott that they were the last to arrive and they had better hurry up. They stand there gazing at him, unable to move, transfixed by his diamond-cutter cheekbones.

In the markets, Mick and Matt are bewildered – the Sydney Markets are actually three times the size of Tasmania itself. “I feel like I’ve just flown into Bangkok,” says Mick, bewildered by the amount of transgender sex being offered to him. A quick series of cuts establish that the market is a) big; b) full of people waving bananas; and c) being destroyed by MKR idiots crashing their trolleys into stuff.

Joanna is insistent she win the people’s choice today, but Jenna is already on her fifth drink of the morning and it looks doubtful. “I just want to make the most money,” says Joanna, as Jenna nods along, blissfully ignorant of her surroundings. Joanna commandeers the PA system to announce she will be providing hotcakes for all. She is besieged by anxious shoppers wondering where their lost child is.

Kerrie and Craig are making gozleme, which is a thing apparently. Kerrie worries that Craig doesn’t know what he’s doing: Craig assures her he has changed. Mick and Matt are making cinnamon chicken, but their shopping is being put at risk by Mick’s intense misanthropy.

Meanwhile, Jake is hitting people with his trolley and harassing an innocent AC/DC fan to bring him some pork. Josh is pushing his way through the throng. He feels like Moses parting the sea, and dreams of drowning thousands. “I think people are going to like our dish, Josh!” Andi shrieks in his ear for no particular reason.

Elsewhere, Manu is ordering Ashlee and Sophia to run, for his own dark motives. Ashlee and Sophia quickly move into top gear, saying “Babe” more than times within a minute.

Ali and Samuel are making spiced chicken with a pumpkin rosti. Samuel explains to Ali that it is a South American dish, delighting in her ignorance. He then explains that it’s actually a multicultural dish, containing “flavours of the world”. He then explains that a rosti is a “Swedish pancake”, as Ali begins to think very seriously about having him committed. “Definitely food fit for this market,” Samuel declares. Apparently the market is full of people who also don’t know what a rosti is.

The teams begin pricing their dishes, and Sophia begins calling Kerrie “Babe”, which is an act of uncalled-for aggression against a foreign power. Elsewhere, peeling these prawns will take Dan an eternity, mainly because he thinks he’s still in bed. Dan and Steph think their dish is multicultural too, unaware of how racist prawns can be. What Dan loves about the dish is that it’s easy to eat: Dan has been burnt by difficult foods before.

Activity is furious, but curiosity begins to grow as to why Jake and Elle have yet to return to their stall. Have they been involved in a fatal trolley pile-up? No it’s just that they need limes and their metalhead pork boy has played them for suckers.

Scott tells us that today’s challenge is all about serving great dishes to the public, even though it’s actually all about sweating heavily and yelling. Pete is explaining the rules of the challenge to Manu, who had no idea because he wasn’t listening to the voice-over before. Manu explains the rules back to Pete. Everyone seems pretty happy.

And Jake and Elle have their pork! Jake begins harassing people forthwith. They’ll need to, because Angela and Melina are making popcorn chicken with hot chips – they’ve been to markets before. Melina shouts “Eat me!” and a popular new ring-tone is born.

The batter is proving difficult, however. “It’s like a five-spice batter party!” Melina yells. “I’ve got batter in my hair!” Angela screeches. It’s all incredibly arousing. But the last thing Melina is thinking is that she’s making a mess – she’s actually thinking about the family of otters hidden inside her hairdo.

Manu yells at Jake and Elle. Jake yells at Elle. The cycle of violence continues. Elle, admirably, does not kick Jake in the crotch.

Over at Sam and Chris’ stall, Sam and Chris are still on the show.

Meanwhile, Joanna is pouring out an industrial bag of flour while Jenna tries to remember how to spell “hotcakes”. Over at Luke and Scott’s stall, Luke makes a pun about corn and therefore is automatically eliminated.

Kerrie is screaming at Craig as yet another mince-related divorce begins to loom. Manu explains to Pete how they couldn’t find any mince, and Pete’s eyeballs leap out of his head and go for a walk around the city.

Andi wants to prove she can handle couscous. Her life goals have really shrunk since she was a little girl.

Pete and Manu continue to talk about things they already know. Pete tells Manu the problem with Mick and Matt is that Mick is really slow, conveniently glossing over all the other problems. Mick is cutting up some vegetables in the rapid-fire, quicksilver manner of a man undergoing a major stroke. Meanwhile, Samuel has spilt peppercorns all over his chicken and become even less likely to get Ali into bed.

At Ashlee and Sophia’s stall they are calling each other “Babe”, but suddenly drama, as the “Babes” subside and begin to be replaced by words too rude for Channel Seven to air. The pressure is getting to them and suddenly Ashlee and Sophia are sniping viciously at each other in the same way everyone else in the world wants to. It’s possible that within a few minutes someone will be disembowelled with tongs.

Sophia tries to mend bridges by calling Ashlee “Babe” a few more times, but Ashlee is having none of it, hurling bleeps back like R2-D2. It’s all very amusing to Jake and Elle, who like nothing more than watching friendships disintegrate.

Speaking of disintegration, Kerrie and Craig now loathe each other. When they were married, Craig never revealed that he was terrible at mincing, and this deception has hit Kerrie hard. But if there’s anything slower than Craig’s mincing, it’s Mick’s chopping, and Matt experiences explicit patricidal fantasies.

Joanna and Chris are making sexual innuendoes at each other and it’s disgusting. Much like Dan’s prawns. Everything Dan and Steph have made, in fact, look like what’s left on the market floor at the end of the day.

Elle is stressed by how many elements are in a Vietnamese baguette: four, apparently. Conversely, Mick is just stressed by the existence of vegetables. He begins making skewers, and at the current rate should be ready to serve by the next series of Celebrity Masterchef.

“Are you having problems?” Kerrie asks Sophia. “Not any more,” says Sophia, strongly suggesting she has murdered Ashlee. But no, happily the Babes are back.

It’s almost time to start selling, as Luke descends into insanity and starts frying up some dog vomit. What’s worse, he’s burnt it! At least he’s not Melina, who is being driven nuts by the tongs situation. Luke’s had to throw his vomit fritters into the bin. “We needed these fritters on plates, not in the bin,” says Luke, savvy businessman.

At the gates, a horde of hungry patrons wait, eager to barge down the aisle and engage in the foodie freak show that awaits. They enter, and it is time for Chris to explain the rules again. Which means it’s time for Ashlee to explain the rules again.

Money is changing hands everywhere but Angela and Melina’s stall, where there is nothing to serve except chips. Which, to be fair, still look better than most of what’s being served. Over at Jake and Elle’s stall, Jake begins shouting about his food, which seems like a major miscalculation of just how annoying Jake’s voice is. Meanwhile, Ashlee and Sophia have upped their “Babe” rate and are five minutes from degenerating into an incomprehensible Smurf-style Babe-language.

Pete and Manu are disgusted with Angela and Melina’s effort. The popcorn isn’t crispy. Manu looks around for a table to flip.

In the battle of the pancakes, Sam and Chris are winning, their ability to quickly crank out large numbers of well-made pancakes proving more effective than Jenna and Joanna’s ability to go a bit cross-eyed from time to time. Manu would have preferred fresh fruit to cooked fruit on J and J’s hotcakes, but you know, Manu, it’s not all about YOU.

Elsewhere, Andi’s couscous is lovely and fluffy and she can die happy. Which she might do soon if the look on her face is any guide.

Dan and Steph’s rice paper rolls are a success. Less successful is Samuel’s tactic of attracting customers by screaming incoherently at them. It seems less likely to earn him money than it is to have him arrested, but maybe it’s a Tasmanian thing.

Ashlee and Sophia have sold out, and so write on their board “SOLD OUT SUCKERS”, because they are just as ungracious and rude in moments of triumph as they are in moments of disappointment. They take the opportunity to wander about the market and say nasty things about everyone else, sticking with their strengths.

On seeing Angela and Melina’s dish, Sophia opines, “It looks like a mess, just like them”, just in case there was anyone left in Australia who didn’t hate her. Jake and Elle have also sold out, but Ashlee and Sophia still find ways to be bitchy about them: they are nothing if not resourceful. “Just because you put coriander in a dish doesn’t make it Vietnamese,” says Ashlee, speaking some bizarre alien tongue I am unfamiliar with.

Manu enjoys Kerrie and Craig’s gozleme, though it could be the cognac talking. He is less impressed with Mick and Matt’s cinnamon skewers lightly dusted with chicken. Mick, though, is “feeling pumped”: he’s so full of energy he’s managing to make up to three skewers an hour.

Closing time, and judgment awaits. One team will gain immunity: one team will go to sudden death. The other teams will just sort of stand there, uninterestingly. Jake expresses the hope that he has not failed: that’s what makes him such a fierce competitor.

Manu tells them they did well: he makes special comment on something or other that I can’t understand. Bad news for Luke and Scott though: Manu hated their mushy fritters. But Pete loved the mushy fritters! Pete and Manu wrestle to decide it.

Dan and Steph’s rice paper rolls are a hit: after all, a rice paper roll is just like a see-through sausage. Mick and Matt, though, were stunningly bad. As for Josh and Andi, Pete says, “what can I say except, yum!”

He then proceeds to say a lot of other things. Ali and Samuel’s chicken was delectable, though Manu found their salsa not wet enough … IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Pete and Manu explain to Ashlee and Sophia that their dish was wonderful apart from the bits that were terrible, and also that they should have been nicer to each other: none of your business, Pete and Manu.

And of course Angela and Melina failed miserably: Manu thinks it was good for the kids, but his childlike sense of wonder was long ago beaten out of him by the misery of the world. And Kerrie and Craig did very well and do not have to split up yet.

Manu tells Joanna and Jenna that he’s been waiting for a great dessert from them … and is still waiting. Jenna begins crying, either because of the harsh judgment, or because a slight breeze just ruffled her hair.

And finally, Sam and Chris: they have nothing to worry about, says Pete. This is an exaggeration, but their pancakes were good. Pete tells them their dish looked “feminine”: everyone immediately starts worrying about Pete.

But who wins people’s choice? Who has exploited the principles of supply and demand most successfully? It is … AD BREAK.

We’re back, and Samuel explains that it’s now time to find out who made the most money, for those who tuned in during the ad break, or those with short-term memory loss. Ashlee and Sophia hope they’ve won, just to upset Angela and Melina, but they can suck it, because Jake and Elle have won. “I’m on the moon right now!” says Elle, so happy she’s forgotten how figures of speech work.

Ashlee is gutted that another Vietnamese dish won, because she has a pathological need to reduce everything to race. Sophia notes that if they had done Jake and Elle’s dish, it would have been “authentic” – several thousand TV screens are at this point kicked in.

Jake and Elle now gain immunity from elimination, and also the chance to choose another team to gain immunity. They pick Kerrie and Craig. Whatever, I guess. Everyone gets unnecessarily emotional.

But what of the most important question: who are the losers? I mean, Ashlee and Sophia obviously, but who lost the challenge? It’s Jenna and Joanna!

Manu thinks of petite and pretty when he thinks of them, and he didn’t believe their desserts were coming from them. Does he suspect them of stealing hotcakes from somebody else? Jenna is devastated, tearful and kind of sleepy. Pete would look at it as another chance to shine, but Jenna and Joanna look at it more as another chance to stab themselves with toasting forks.

And so till next week, when we will return to Kitchen Headquarters to find out who will face Jenna and Joanna in a sudden-death cook-off, and whether they’ll finally have the guts to make “sudden-death” literal … adieu!

Ben Pobjie will be appearing in Let’s Put on a Show at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival from April 9-14.

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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Rawiller to miss Randwick Guineas after suspension

Nash Rawiller will miss Randwick Guineas day after he was suspended for five meetings for careless riding at Newcastle on Wednesday.
Wuxi Plastic Surgery

The champion hoop pleaded guilty to shifting in at the 1000-metre mark on Ivanhoe, checking Entirely Platinum ridden by Jay Ford. He made an application to be reprimanded but stewards suspended him.

This leaves the Gai Waterhouse stable without its No.1 rider for the first leg of the three-year-old triple crown, which could be Pierro and Proisir’s next appearance.

Meanwhile, Racing NSW will move towards the model used by Victoria in charging more for premium meetings under the racefields fees, starting from Saturday’s Chipping Norton Stakes meeting at Warwick Farm.

The standard fee of 1.5 per cent of turnover will jump to 2 per cent for premium meetings that carry a race worth more than $150,000. It is the same impost Racing Victoria put on all meetings in October and November.

”This is not unique,” Racing NSW chief Peter V’landys said. “It is only fair that a premium product attracts a premium fee as it does in any other business.”

The first harness meeting to charge 2 per cent was Sunday’s Inter Dominion final at Menangle, which had nationwide turnover of more than $7 million.

“It means an extra $30,000 to $40,000 for the meeting,” Harness Racing NSW chief executive Sam Nati said. “We have set our premium meetings as ones with a race more than $30,000, and it is around 10 per cent of all our meetings.”

The racefields fee earns Harness Racing more than $7 million a year. V’landys puts racing’s product fee at $40 million to $50 million a year.

The increase has angered bookmakers. “Bookmakers will adjust their odds because of the extra costs, and it will hurt punters,” Rob Waterhouse said.

V’landys countered: “This does not affect punters, it only cuts into the profit made by the corporate bookmakers. The argument that it slugs punters is ridiculous.”

Betstar boss Alan Eskander warned that racing might be pricing itself out of the market.

The original release of this article first appeared on the website of Wuxi Plastic Surgery Hospital.

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